I don't like Mondays: Week 1

This is my version of Red's "Around the Quad." First and foremost, I'd like to thank Red in front of this BearMeat audience for all the hard work he has put forth into keeping the Editorial Board somewhat sober and the BearMeaty world kicking. You wouldn't believe the amount of interventions we've had this year. He's dubbed those dark times, "I Extend My Olive Branch Towards You, My Friend. Please Do Not Touch My Hairy Olive Pits." Thanks and huzzah, Red.




Anyways, Mondays are bitter pills for fans of the B. It hasn't really fazed me throughout this whole damn farce of a football season, but today I am especially bitter. Maybe the fact that our newest Intern, Yemal Grangerson, delivered a case of Wiser's Whiskey instead of our usual Rebel Yell for our Homecoming festivities is the reason for my awful, awful attitude today. I say sorry in advance. Here's a round-up of gunk 'n' bitterness.


Has King GuyMo gone crazy (9th question down) or is he the new Baby Aristotle?

How important is it for the players to keep playing for something? Morriss: "Well it is important. It's kind of like the farmer comes home, and there are two crying babies waiting for him, and momma's run off with the milkman. You've got to do something.

And doing something in this regards would be grabbing the shotgun and hunting your babies' momma and the milkman down. I hereby motion for Baylor players to run around with shotguns above their heads. It would be a Tusken Raiders vs. The Last Boy Scout mash-up. The B could actually make money off of football games. Hell, we might as well keep King GuyMo for another season. Awesome!





Not to be outdone, the B's basketball program lost to Tarleton State!!! Upon reading that article I got two thoughts in my head.

• Thank God we haven't lost the will to shoot the three.
  
• Thank Jesus we haven't learned how to play defense.

Scott Drew sez:

Tarleton is a very good team. This is a very good thing for us, not that we lost the game and executed poorly, but it gives us an idea of what we need to focus and improve on before we start playing the games that count.

No Drew. The loss is a very, very good thing. No need to build hope. It's hurts the heart and soul so much. Just ask the Polish Pony. Expectations suck.



TurdPolishers are crazy for coaches! I have to admit. The TurdPolishers are frankly quite amusing. I feel better as a human when I see them fighting with each other. The coaching names being tossed around there are Larry Fedora (OSU offensive coordinator - ex-Teaff/Reedy asst. coach), Houston Nutt (headcoach of the Arkansas Pigs), and Gene Stallings (I would love to have the Crypt Keeper as head ball coach - click-clack - there goes my hip). And then there are the Singletary worshippers who would die by Samurai Mike's blade. *Warning* TurdPolisher humor is not for everyone. I will not even link to the site. You must know it by now.




Baylor/OU game on TV. Awesome. Saturday at 5:30pm on Fox Sports Southwest. Recruits please look away. Board of Regents please pass the brandy.


If you missed the preseason polls, the Lady Bears are ranked mostly in the 15 range. Not that these early polls mean much. But, damn, we sure do need a confidence booster these days. But let's not be too hasty cos it's still a Monday. Apparently a report is out there as of last week that BearMeat's darling dunker, Brooklyn Pope, might be heading to Rutgers. That sucks. We would have turned this place into a freakin' Pope shrine. Oh well, hopefully it's a false report. Ho hum. Oh yeah, the men's team lost a big recruit too. Yay. Mondays.



Please report to us anymore depressing news in the comments section. Thanks for your continual support. Sic 'em.